The setting of this blog is very different today. From
where is sit I see endless skies. Where I drive, wide paved roads. Evidences of
a robust economy are everywhere. It is not too hard to guess, I am not nova
Scotia, but rather Alberta. It is the end of hurried trip for to witness an
important milestone in my son’s life – his grade 12 graduation.
This weekend also marks the first anniversary of the date we
sold our house – the inaugural step of many big steps in this last year. Put
the timing and the setting together along with the experience of being among
family and friends, it brings a bundle of mixed thoughts, questions and even
emotions. The first and most obvious is
that life goes on without you – you are missed by some and not by others –
regardless life goes on and that is good, because ours has too.
The question that I was asked most this week was: “How
is it going on the campground?” I wish I had a definite answer, but the reality
is, I don’t. There are good days; there are bad days; there are days that are all
kinds of fun; and there are days that really suck. It is in those bad and “sucky”
days that do we take solace in the belief that God had led us to where we are,
for a wider and grander picture which we can only see glimpses of. We have had the
privilege of meeting a lot awesome, friendly, fun-loving people – most of which
either work or live on our place this summer. It was good to be reminded this week,
that these developing relationships are the necessary foundation or platform to
invest into people lives; after all isn’t loving your neighbor the second half
of the summary of all the law and prophets.
As I spent time back in Alberta this week I personally
wrestled with feelings of where I belong. Was this a good move? I wonder if
Abraham ever questioned things. Did he ever wonder: “What the heck am I doing?”
when he wondered homeless for the majority of his life. Or what the heck am I doing
when he raised his knife to kill his only son – or more scary yet, what did Isaac
think – did he ever trust his dad again – did he tell his mom.
As I visit with friends and family I realize that something
has changed – something inside of me. It is so good to laugh, drink and have serious
discussions with old friends; I do miss it. But I also realize that something
in me has moved on. Lacombe is no longer my home; it is a place to visit – a place
to catch up, to renew old relationships, but it is no longer home. But in some very
real sense Nova Scotia has not become home yet either. Thus the mixed feelings
and thoughts, not that I long to move back or even question the wisdom of our
move – I just long for a place to feel like home. In time I hope that will come, for some of my
family it will come quicker than others, but my hope and prayer is that it will
come – hopefully quicker than Abraham J.
Blessings,
HJK
